TL and Phantos' Watchmen
by TLSoulDude
Summary: Co-written fanmake of the comic by Alan Moore. In the year 1985, masked adventuring is outlawed. However, a chain of events centered around superheroes forms a mystery that creates a race to solve it before nuclear Armageddon. Rated M for a reason.
1. At Midnight, All Agents

**(The following is a non-profit, fan-based work. _Watchmen_ is owned by Alan Moore and DC Comics. Please support the official release.)**

(Well, here it is. The first fanmake of Alan Moore's Watchmen. It took me and Phantos about six months to write, which is a long time for a co-written work. I was planning on writing a Watchmen fanmake for a while, but never got around to it. When Phantos and I started working on it, only my casting choice for Doctor Manhattan remained.  
Just so you know, the italics mean it's either an inner-monologue or a flashback and ~ means a scene change.  
Now, enjoy.)

_**Fanfiction Dot Presents...**_  
_**A TLSoulDude/PhantostheHedgehog fanmake...**_  
_**A fanmake of the most celebrated graphic novel of all time...**_

_**TL and Phantos' Watchmen**_

_"The Shukaku Journal_  
_October 12th 1985:_  
_Found dead dog in the alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I've seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood. And when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up around their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...and I'll look down, and whisper 'no'."_

A teen with unruly, red hair and turquoise eyes was walking across a street, carrying a sign saying "The End Is Nigh". He looked down and saw a World War II-era German Iron Cross in a gutter as blood washed down the drain.

_"They had a choice, all of them. The could have followed in the footsteps of good men, like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice."_

The teen simply walked away.

_"Now the whole world is standing on the brink, staring down into the bloody Hell. All those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers...and all of a sudden, nobody could think of anything to say..."_

Up above, an anthropomorphic fox and falcon were looking over a crime scene.

"Well, that is a big drop." The fox murmured to himself.

The fox was looking out of a shattered window of an apartment building, he was looking down from the 30th floor. The falcon was checking the broken lock on the apartment's door.

"Yeah that poor guy, he never saw it coming. Hey Fox, I've always wondered, do you think you black out just before you hit the street?" The falcon asked his partner.

"Falco, I don't think I wanna know. What do you think happened here?" Fox asked, turning to his partner. Falco stood up and held the shattered door lock.

"Well, it looks like someone broke in here by busting the door open. Meaning we have two guys to look for or one guy on really strong drugs, because this lock has a chain fastened on it, meaning our guy was home when it happened. Falco said. And sure enough, they were right.

_Earlier the previous night, the occupant of the apartment, a 68 year old man was kicking back in a recliner, drinking a beer and watching TV. The man had white hair and red eyes. He looked over as someone burst in and sprung to his feet._

"Hmm, but I saw the BODY and he looked tough enough to defend himself." Fox pointed out, "For a guy his age, he was in pretty good shape."

"What, ya mean APART from being dead?" Falco asked.

"No." Fox stated, "This guy, this Bielschmidt guy, the occupant, he had a pretty dang good physique. He looked like he could give an Olympic sprinter a run for his money and he probably would've put up SOME sort of fight..."

_The man got punched across the face and crashed into a painting, breaking the glass._

"Yeah, well looks like he lost to me." Falco stated, looking at the shattered glass, "Ya think it was a couple of guys?"

"Maybe." Fox conceded, "The data we have suggests that he's been doing some diplomatic work for years."

"With this classy kind of living, maybe he just got soft." Falco suggested.

Fox grabbed a picture of the man shaking hands with another, much taller man with sandy-blonde hair, glasses, and a bomber jacket as well as standing next to a balding man, "He doesn't look too soft to me. Just look at that scar. Something like that would've killed someone like...hey, isn't that vice-president Ford and Alfred Jones?"

"Well what do you know? This guy must've been really important." Falco said, clearly impressed.

_The beat up man was grabbed by the collar and some blood dripped onto an iron cross that was hanging from his shirt. The intruder then lifted him over his head._

"Looks like some money got taken but there's no way this is a simple burglary. Somebody really wanted this guy dead." Fox said, putting the picture down. The two decided it was time to leave and go back to the station.

"I mean, how did he get out the window?" Fox asked as he and Falco left the building.

"Maybe he tripped against it." Falco suggested.

"No, that's not possible." Fox said, "That glass is pretty strong. Even a person that size wouldn't break through it by tripping against it. He'd probably have had to be thrown at it."

"Well, if this Gilbert Bielschmidt guy was as big as you say, then one guy couldn't have hefted 'im up." Falco said, "So we're probably talking about TWO thugs here."

"Which floor do ya want?" asked a man in an elevator.

"Uh, ground floor please." Fox said as he and Falco walked over.

"Ground floor comin' up." the man said.

_The man, Gilbert Bielschmidt, was tossed out of the window, shattering the glass. His Iron Cross badge flew off with a streak of blood onto it._

"But that question still remains: is this a burglary or do we look for some other motive?" Fox asked.

"It could've been a burglary, Fox." Falco replied, "Maybe it was a group, but I dunno. But ya know how it goes in a city this size: a lot of crazy things can happen. They don't ALL need motives."

"You're right, but let's not kick up too much dust Falco. I don't want any masked avengers getting curious and barging in." Fox said as he and his partner walked down the sidewalk.

"I think you're acting a little paranoid. You remember the Keene Act don't you, back in '77? Since that was passed only supers who work for the Government are active, they never interfere." Falco said.

"What about that Shukaku guy?" Fox asked.

"Shukaku? That psycho never retired." Falco answered as they passed by the red-haired teen, "He's still out there somewhere. Just hope he doesn't catch wind of this. If he finds out about a homicide, there's gonna be a lotta bodies." Fox adjusted the collar of his shirt, "What's up?"

"Nothin'. I just feel a chill." Fox replied.

Later that night, a figure walked up and held up the Iron Cross with gloved hands. He was clad in a black hoodie and had a large gourd on his back. He looked up before pulling a cork out of the gourd and holding up his hand. Sand erupted from the gourd and caught onto a broken window frame before pulling him up. In the light, he had a white, dog-shaped mask with red markings on it. It completely obscured his face as he looked around the apartment. He slowly made his way to the closet before tapping on the back wall. He noticed a button and pushed it. The wall slid back to show a black domino mask, a navy-blue German World War II uniform, and a picture of people gathered around in a line. He suddenly realized who he was dealing with...

"So, I was in the supermarket, buying some cereal, when I turn the corner and run into none other than Molly Mayne, the Harlequin." An elderly man with paling blonde hair said to a teenager with spiky, brown hair, "You know her, right?"

"Oh yeah, I remember hearing about her." The teen said, this kid is named Sora and the person he's talking to is Alan Scott, his childhood hero. Back when Alan was younger, he was a superhero known as The Green Lantern and Sora knew that when he got older, he wanted to be just like him.

And he did! When Alan retired, Sora became his replacement.

"Yeah I put her behind bars dozens of times back in the day. She told me that she found Jesus, got married and has two kids. We traded phone numbers, she's a nice girl." Alan said as he and Sora sat in front of a fireplace.

"Uh, Alan, listen...it's almost midnight and I probably should be going" Sora said, looking as though leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Sorry, lost track of time talking about that old stuff." Alan said, "You must've been born stiff."

"You know better than THAT." Sora said with a laugh, pulling on a coat, "Heck, these Saturday-night beer sessions are what keep me going."

"Well, us retired guys have to stick together." Alan said, standing up and showing Sora to the door, "Y'know, it's a shame that they put you kids out of business in '77. You were MUCH better at your job than I was."

"Alan, that's bull and you know it, but thanks anyway." Sora said.

"Hey, watch that language." Alan said with mock rage, "This is the guy who fought Black Adam and lived, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Sora asked with a laugh, "Thanks for another great night, Alan! Take care of yourself!"

"You too, Sora!" Alan called as Sora walked away, "God bless!"

Alan closed the door and Sora walked towards his home. Since he retired, Alan ran an auto repair shop and lived there as well. He and Sora always met every Saturday night and reminisced about the good old days, back when superheroes were legal.

Sora walked through the city streets as rain fell to the ground and after a minute or two, he arrived at an apartment complex but when he stepped up to the front door, he noticed that the lock had been broken off.

Really curious, Sora entered his apartment and saw a familiar face sitting at his table, eating beans out of a can.

"Hello Sora." Shukaku said.

"Shukaku?" Sora asked, looking nervous.

"Got hungry waiting for you and I decided to help myself to some beans." Shukaku stated, face obscured by his hood, "Hope you don't mind."

"Uh...no, of course not." Sora answered, looking somewhat nervous, "Do you...y'know, want me to heat those up or anything?"

"No." Shukaku stated as he finished his meal, putting his mask back on as he finished.

"So...long time, no see." Sora said, trying to break the ice in a polite way, "How've you been doing?"

"Out of prison so far." Shukaku replied, tossing Sora the Iron Cross, "Take a look at this."

"What is this?" Sora asked, catching the cross and seeing it, "This stain, is it bean juice or something?"

"Yes, HUMAN bean juice." Shukaku answered, grimly. He walked over to a can labeled 'sugar' and emptied out some sugar cubes, which he put into his pouch, "The badge belonged to The German. That's his blood, too. He's dead."

"What? The German's dead? You mean THE German?" Sora asked in total shock. Shukaku stood up and looked at him.

"The one and only, I did an investigation and the victim's name was Gilbert Bielschmidt, I found the costume and gear in his closet. Somebody threw him out a window." Shukaku said. Sora got really nervous all of the sudden and walked over to a door that led to the basement.

"Um, let's talk down here. I feel exposed up here." Sora said, opening the door. He and Shukaku walked down into the basement. When Sora became a superhero, he decided to turn his basement into a workshop.

He created a ton of things to help fight bad guys and his costume was sitting in a locker off to the side. It consisted of a black and red jumpsuit and a black domino mask along with a hood and cape. Next to his costume was a huge key. Sora's alter ego? Keymaster!

"Haven't been down here for a while." Sora said.

"It shows." Shukaku said, wiping his finger on a ship of sorts, noticing the dust.

"Yeah, well, y'know." Sora said, looking very uncomfortable, "I come down here sometimes, but there doesn't seem to be a point since I retired. Listen, about The German...couldn't it have been an ordinary burglary? Someone who didn't know it was Bielschmidt or who he was?"

"Ordinary killer? Kill The German? Ridiculous." Shukaku stated.

"Yeah, it does seem a bit far out there." Sora conceded, "I heard he'd been working for the government, trashing the Berlin Wall and taking down Marxist Republics in South America. Do ya think it was a political killing?"

"Maybe or maybe someone's killing off costumed heroes." Shukaku said.

"Doesn't that sound a little on the paranoid side?" Sora asked.

"That's what they're saying about me now? That I'm paranoid?" Shukaku asked before continuing, "The German was active for forty years. People make a lot of enemies in that time." He then looked at Sora and asked, "How's Alan Scott these days?"

"Alan? He's doing good. But what does he have to do with all this?" Sora asked.

"You should know by now, he and The German were part of the Minute Men when The German was only 16 and Alan Scott was still The Green Lantern. That book Alan wrote, _Behind the Mask_, he said some really bad things about The German in it. I didn't like it one bit." Shukaku said as Sora intervened.

"Shukaku, I don't like where you're going with this. Alan's a really nice man, he'd never kill anyone!" Sora said.

"I'm not pointing any fingers, just a thought. Anyway, I thought I'd warn you just in case somebody's out there, killing masks. I'd better go now, I got things to do." Shukaku said as he walked down a small set of stairs. Right next to the stairs was a long tunnel.

"Right um, this tunnel will bring you to a warehouse on..." Sora said before Shukaku interrupted him.

"I know where this goes, I used to come here a lot back when we were partners." Shukaku said with his hands in his pockets. He started to walk down the tunnel.

"Those were really good times Shukaku, what do you think happened to them?" Sora asked. Shukaku's answer?

"You quit."

Sora slumped down next to his costume, looking at the ground and feeling as sorry for himself as he had felt in a long time.

_"The Shukaku Journal_  
_October 13th, 1985_

_Slept all day. Woke at 4:37. Landlady complaining about smell. She has five children from five different fathers. I am sure she cheats on welfare. Soon it will be dark..."_

Shukaku was sitting on a rooftop, writing in a journal. He looked over the city before walking down a fire-escape and ending up on the street.

_"Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like a horde of retarded children. New York...on Friday, a German died in New York. Somebody knows WHY. Down there, somebody knows..."_

Shukaku walked up to a tavern with the simple name of 'Moe's'.

_"The dusk reeks of sex and bad conscience...I believe I shall take my exercise."_

Shukaku opened the door and walked inside, passing by some rather shocked-looking tenants.

"Shuh...shuh...Shukaku." stammered the bartender, a slouched man with thick, gray hair. This was the Moe who owned the bar. He was showing clear terror at Shukaku's arrival, "Uh...how're ya doin'?"

"I'm fine, Moe. Yourself?" Shukaku asked.

"Fine! I'm fuh...I'm fine! And I'm glad YOU'RE fine, too! And uh...uh..." Moe stammered before breaking down and saying, "Oh Lord, PLEASE don't kill anyone! The health inspector said he'd shut my place down if another murder took place and he won't accept bribes again!"

"A man went sidewalk diving yesterday." Shukaku stated, "I don't think he was alone when it happened. His name was Gilbert Bielschmidt. He was a friend of mine."

At one of the bar tables, a regular customer named Barney looked over at Shukaku and the man clearly had too much to drink, again.

"Hey Homer, did you know he has friends? I guess he finally learned how to use deodorant." Barney said before laughing hysterically and ending it with a loud burp.

Homer screamed and ran out as Shukaku tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh, uh...I didn't mean nothin'!" Barney said before belching. Shukaku held up his hand as sand quickly covered Barney's hand, "Hey, what're ya..."

Shukaku clenched his gloved fist, causing a sickening crack to erupt. Barney screamed in pain at this.

"I have just crushed this man's little finger. Who killed Gilbert Bielschmidt?" Shukaku asked, darkly. No answer. Another clench. Another crack. Another scream, "And his index finger. Who killed Gilbert Bielschmidt?"

"Please, we don't know!" A black man named Carl Carlson said, fearfully, "Just leave 'im alone..."

Shukaku looked at Barney before withdrawing the sand and walking out.

_"First visit of evening fruitless. Nobody knew anything. I feel somewhat depressed. This city is dying of rabies and the best I can do is wipe some foam off the lips?"_

Shukaku stepped out of the bar and back into the city.

_"Never despair. Never surrender. I leave the human cockroaches to discuss their heroin and child porn. I have business elsewhere with a better class of person."_

Shukaku was sitting in front of a man with neatly-cut brown hair and matching eyes. He was Asian (Japanese to be exact) and his name was Light Yagami, a former partner of Shukaku who used to go by the name of Kira.

"The German dead? But why?" he asked.

"You were always supposed to be the smartest man, Yagami." Shukaku said, dryly, "You tell ME."

"I never claimed to be anything special, Shukaku." Light said, looking over the city, "I just have some over-enthusiastic P.R. men. Listen, couldn't it have just been a political killing? You know how those Soviets are getting these days..."

"Sora said the same thing. I don't believe it." Shukaku stated, holding up an action figure of Light in a superhero costume involving black lightweight armor, a golden collar, steel shoulder pads, a flowing black cloak, and a black mask. Had his eyes been visible, his expression would probably have been disgust, "America has Professor Neos. The Communists have been terrified of him since Vietnam. They wouldn't even think about antagonizing us. I think it's a mask killer."

"Not necessarily." Light said, "The German had plenty of OTHER political enemies in his Rogue's Gallery, not just Communists. The man was practically a Nazi."

"He stood up for a country that wasn't his own, Yagami." Shukaku stated, still holding the toy, "He never cashed in on his reputation. He never set up a company selling posters or diet books or toy soldiers based on himself. He never became a prostitute. If that makes him a Nazi, might as well call me one, too."

Light looked out the window, down into the city streets and then back at Shukaku as rain started to fall.

"Shukaku, I know that you never liked me all that much but still, you're not being fair. I chose to retire and tell the world my secret identity, you remember the police strikes don't you? All the cops in the city we're going on strike, because of us. I didn't want to be part of it anymore." Light said as Shukaku put the action figure down onto his desk.

"Whatever... anyway I better get going. I may not like you that much, but I don't want you to be the smartest man in the morgue. But like they say, there's worse things you could end up as." Shukaku said, opening a window.

"See you later." He said before crawling out the window and scaling down the side of the building.

"Sure, have a nice day..." Light said as thunder crashed in the sky.

_"The Shukaku Journal:_  
_October 13th, 1985, 8:30 P.M."_

In front of a military center, guards were patrolling. A good distance away, a large hole had been cut through a wire fence. It had been created to allow Shukaku to pass.

_"Meeting with Yagami left a bad taste in my mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying his own shallow, liberal affections. Possibly homosexual? Further investigation is required."_

Shukaku climbed to a roof-top to keep out of sight of another patrol officer.

_"Sora is just as bad. A little failure who sits, whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? Green Lantern runs an auto-repair shop. The first Oathkeeper is dying in a Californian rest resort. White Ranger was decapitated in a car crash back in '74. Knives is in an asylum in Maine. Shinigami retired in disgrace, murdered by a small-time adversary seeking vengeance. Kaptain Krust got shot. Ninja Man went missing in '55. The German is dead."_

Shukaku snuck past some more guards, broke through a window and opened a door to allow him to enter.

_"Only two names remaining on my list. Both share private quarters in Rockerfeller Military Research Center. I shall go to them. I shall go and tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him..."_

He entered a room, which had an odd, red light glowing within.

"Good evening, Shukaku." came a voice. The speaker was currently about twenty feet tall, stark naked, colored bright red, and had a shock of brown hair on his head. This was Jaden Yuki, also known as...

"Good evening, Professor Neos." Shukaku said, oddly nonchalant about this.

Suddenly a young girl entered the room. She had a head of brownish red hair and she was wearing a pink and white outfit outfit and purple shoes. It was Kairi, Jaden's girlfriend and former crime fighter.

"Shukaku? What are you doing here? I heard you're wanted by the police." Kairi said as Jaden started to shrink himself down to normal size.

"Oh, hi Kairi." Shukaku flatly said. Shukaku and Kairi never liked each other that much.

"You didn't answer my question." Kairi snapped.

"Apologies." Shukaku replied, "Came to warn you two and bring bad news. The German is dead."

"Yes. Since he and I are the only two extranormal operatives currently employed by the government, I was informed Saturday morning." Jaden said in an extremely monotonous voice, "I understand that the CIA suspects the Libyans were responsible."

"The Libyans couldn't stop Doc Brown stealing plutonium. I have my own theories." Shukaku stated, "I take it you're not concerned about Bielschmidt's death?"

"A living body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there is no discernable difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?"

"Anyway, it couldn't have happened to a nicer person." Kairi said, a bitter edge to her voice, "Bielschmidt was a monster, plain and simple. You know that he tried to RAPE my mother back when they were both Minutemen?"

"So you support the allegations made in Alan Scott's book concerning Bielschmidt?" Shukaku asked, pulling a sugar cube out of his pouch. He pulled his mask up far enough for him to pop the cube into his mouth and eat it before sliding it back down.

"What Scott said in Behind the Mask is what happened. God knows that I'm not my mother's biggest admirer, but some things shouldn't happen to anybody." Kairi answered, "Why do you think Bielschmidt never sued Scott?

Shukaku crunched the sugar cube before saying, "I am not here to speculate on the moral lapses of men who died in the country's service. I came to..."

"MORAL LAPSES?" Kairi shouted, looking completely enraged, "RAPE is a moral lapse?! You know he BROKE her ribs?! You know he almost CHOKED her?! Jaden, get this creep out of here!"

"Shukaku, you're really upsetting Kairi. I think it's time you leave." Jaden said, his voice making him sound like he was on the verge of crying.

"Just hear me out Professor Neos, I think there's a mask killer out there, maybe it's an old foe holding a grudge." Shukaku said as Jaden narrowed his eyes.

"I said, I think it's time you leave." he said.

"Took a lot of trouble getting in here. I'm not leaving until I've had-" Before he could finish, Shukaku vanished in a quick flash of light. The flash appeared again and Shikaku appeared outside.

"My say!" he finished. He found himself outside and looked down. He grunted before walking away.

Back inside, Jaden was working on some machinery, hands phasing through the solid material and dismantling others without even touching it.

"He's gone." He said to Kairi, who was still looking angered, "Are you still upset?"

"Yeah." Kairi sighed in irritation, "I just don't like Shukaku. He's insane, COMPLETELY insane. The way he smells doesn't help anything, either. Or his voice. The sooner the police put him behind bars, the better." She sat down and asked, "Jaden?"

"Yes, Kairi?" Jaden asked.

"I was thinking that I'm probably extremely edgy to let a creep like Shukaku get to me." She explained, "I just feel cooped up sometimes. Maybe I could use a night out. You know, Shukaku mentioned Sora. We haven't seen him in YEARS. Maybe I'll call him up and ask him out to dinner..." she then realized how wrong that sounded and added, "If you don't mind, of course."

"Of course not." Jaden replied, glowing eyes not shifting from his work, "I'd join you, but I am close to finding a gluino, which would completely validate Supersymmetrical Theory if we could include it in the bestiary."

"Uh...fascinating. I'm going to call Sora now." Kairi said, sounding like she was pretending to be interested for Jaden's sake. She walked over to a phone before she dialed a number, "Hello, Sora? It's me, Kairi...I'm fine, how are you? Great. Listen, I just remembered that I haven't seen you in a while and wondered if we could have dinner sometime...Well, how about tonight? Mario's at 9:30? That's terrific...Jaden? Oh yeah, he's in pretty good shape, too. See you later, Sora. Bye."

Elsewhere, Shukaku was walking through the rain, not seeming to care about his drenched clothes.

_"The Shukaku Journal_  
_October 13th, 1985, 11:30 P.M.:_  
_On Friday night, a German died in New York. Someone threw him out of a window and when he hit the sidewalk, his head was driven up into his stomach. Nobody cares...nobody cares, but me. Are they right? Is it futile? Soon, there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon, I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution..."_

Shukaku exited the alley and walked out into the streets.

_"And there is so little time..."_

The next night, at a fancy restaurant knows as Mario's, Sora, who was wearing fancy clothes was sitting at a table waiting for Kairi to arrive. The young girl took a taxi and when she entered, she was pointed over to Sora's table.

The teen looked up and saw Kairi, wearing a red cocktail dress. THe two smiled and as they ate, they started to talk about the good old days.

"Oh Sora, what was the name of that one guy we faced with the dreadlocks?" Kairi asked.

"Sideshow Bob! Man that guy was crazy, he pretended to be a supervillian just so he could get beaten up. First time I saw him, he was following me in broad daylight screaming, 'I'm a bad person! I need to be punished'!'" Sora said, making Kairi giggle.

"Whatever happened to him?" Kairi asked.

"Oh, he tried that out on Shukaku and Shukaku broke his legs and dropped him down an elevator shaft." Sora said, making his and Kairi's faces go blank. The two then started to laugh.

"This shouldn't be funny!" Kairi said as she was laughing.

"I know!" Sora laughed.

Kairi took some deep breaths before saying, "I don't remember the last time I laughed like this..."

She then thought about something she hadn't thought of in a long time.

"Why'd we do it Sora, why'd we run around fighting bad guys? You remember my costume right? It always showed off my curves? It was awful." Kairi said.

"Yeah, it was awful." Sora agreed.

"Y'know, when I think back...why'd we dress up like that in the first place?" Kairi asked as the two stepped out, "The Keene Act was probably the best thing that happened to us."

"You're probably right..." Sora said, but he pulled out Gilbert's Iron Cross and set it on the table.

"I don't remember the last time I had a night like this." Kairi said.

"Yeah, me neither." Sora nodded.

_"At midnight all the agents and superhuman crew, go out and round up everyone that knows more than they do,"_

_-Bob Dylan_


	2. German In My Soul

**(The following is a non-profit, fan-based work. _Watchmen_ is owned by Alan Moore and DC Comics. Please support the official release.)**

(Gotta tell you guys, it was interesting writing out a German accent for the first time...and, even then, I'm STILL not sure if I got it right.  
Enjoy!)

The next day, it was time for The German's funeral. It was raining as a black hearse pulled up to a graveyard where an open grave was waiting. Some men in black opened the back and slowly pulled the coffin out.

Suddenly all the way in California, Kairi appeared at a rest resort in a flash of light. When she did, she immediately ran into the bathroom and threw up.

"Nice of you to drop by." An elderly woman said.

"You try being transported to an area, atom-by-atom..." Kairi groaned. He held up a handful of flowers and said, "I brought you some, mom."

"You big spender." The old woman said, teasingly, as she took the flowers, "Where's Jaden?"

"He's at some funeral. I didn't want to go, so he transported me all the way here." Kairi answered, "He knows that teleporting like that makes me nauseous. One second, I'm in New York, the other in California and breakfast jumps out."

"Poor baby." The woman said. She had red hair that appeared to be paling and a face filled with wrinkles. She was Kim Possible, Kairi's mother, "So is this funeral for anyone I know?"

"No, it's just some official thing." Kairi replied, "Jaden HAD to go. Protocol. They made him put clothes on and everything..."

"It's Gilbert Bielschmidt's funeral, right?" Kim asked.

"Mom..."

"Kairi, don't treat me like a kid." Kim scolded, "I can still READ. I saw in the paper that he got murdered." she sighed before saying, "I guess he finally reached the end of his Reich, huh? Poor Gilbert..."

"Poor GILBERT?" Kairi asked, looking sickened, "Mom, how can you say that? After he almost..."

"Kairi, you're YOUNG, so you wouldn't know." Kim interrupted, "What happened, happened forty years ago. It's history."

"Well, Mom, I'd never forgive anyone if that happened to me." Kairi said, crossing her arms and looking out a window.

Back in New York, the red haired teen, still carrying his The End Is Nigh sign passed by the cemetery where Gilbert was being buried.

Near the grave, Jaden, Light and Sora were standing together, looking down sadly at the coffin of their fallen teammate.

"I know but when you get older, all the things that bothered you in the past, they all fade away somehow and you don't really care anymore. You forgive, forget and move on." Kim said as Kairi looked back at her mom.

"If only it were that easy for me." Kairi said. Kim then smiled as she remembered something.

"Hey Kairi, you know that guy I told you about, the one who write me letters? He picked this up at a pawn shop and sent it to me. It's a Tijuana bible. A little porn comic they did back in 30's and 40's." Kim said, giving Kairi a small 8-page comic.

"Mother, this is GROSS!" Kairi said, showing clear and utter disgust, "Somebody MAILED you this?!"

"Why do you always call me 'mother' when you're angry?" Kim asked before saying, "And those things are valuable, eighty bucks these days. I think it's kind of flattering."

"FLATTERING?" Kairi asked, looking mortified.

"Being reminded that people used to drool over me, why shouldn't it be?" Kim asked, "I'm 65, Kairi. Every day, the future looks darker. But the PAST, even the bad parts of it, well, it just keeps getting brighter all the time."

_Forty years ago..._

_FLASH!_

_A group of people in a line in varying poses had just gotten their picture taken._

_"Okay, that's the picture!" the photographer called._

_"Ve can move?" a man with silver hair, red eyes, and a blue military uniform asked in a thick, German accent, "Can I start vith ze scratching of my armpits now?"_

_"Oh, I got spots in my eyes..." a younger version of Kim said, rubbing her eyes._

_"Oh, zen let me fish zem out for you vith my awesomeness." The German said with a snicker._

_"Oh, Gilbert." Kim said, irritably withdrawing from his reach, "Give me a break."_

_"Okay, Mr. Lantern, I'll send you the prints within a week." The photographer told a young Green Lantern. The team of heroes, also known as the Minutemen, left the room where they took the picture and into their meeting room. All around were different masks and gadgets of their defeated enemies._

_Kim, who was wearing a white and blue jumpsuit and a white mask, was clinging to the arm of a guy wearing a black and red cloak. This is Sasuke Uchiha, a.k.a. Ninja Man._

_"Wow, we finally get to do a photo session! Do you think my hair looked good NM?" Kim asked._

_"To be honest, I don't really care for all this publicity and stuff. I'd rather be out on the streets, doing my job." Sasuke said._

_"Streets nosing." Gilbert said, "Why doesn't your precious Uncle Sam send you into var against my Vater country? Too afraid you'll lose?"_

_"We aren't at war, German." Ninja Man stated, "And we should AVOID political situations."_

_"Perhaps the Poles thought so, too. Do you agree, Kim?" Soi Fon, a.k.a. Shinigami, asked as she walked by._

_"Well, I'm sure that I wouldn't know the first thing about what the POLISH people would think." Kim said, irritably. She herself was of Polish descent, but would rather that people not know about it._

_"I personally think we should stay out of it." Knives said, walking by and brushing the German as he did so._

_"Agh, watch your step, dummkopf." He said, irritably._

_"Come on, what's all this arguing going on?" asked Kaptain Krust, a yellow sponge with a small bit of black hair, a black mask, a red cape, and a white and blue suit with two spatulas attached to it, "The meeting's over. Hey, how about we go into the lobby for a few drinks?"_

_"Fine, you guys go ahead. I gotta change." Kim said. The rest walked away as Kim stripped out of her suit, leaving only her under-garments._

_"Guten tag." Came a voice. It was Gilbert._

_Kim turned around and saw Gilbert leaning against the wall. Kim gasped and covered herself._

_"Gilbert? What are you doing here? You knew I was changing." Kim said angrily._

_"Ja, you sure announced it loud enough, fraulein." Gilbert said as he approached Kim. He went up behind her and whispered._

_"I know vat you vant, I got vat you need." Gilbert said, lightly kissing her neck. Kim groaned and gently pushed him off._

_"No Gilbert, and I mean it." Kim said but the German wasn't listening._

_"Sure, no. Spelled y-e..." Gilbert said before Kim interrupted him._

_"Spelled n-o." she said. The German glared and grabbed her shoulders but kim retaliated by shoving him off and then punching him right in the face. The German fell to the ground and then he looked at Kim angrily._

_"Gilbert, I'm warning you." Kim said_

_Gilbert's response was to punch Kim in the chest and send her to the ground, coughing up blood. He got on top of her and his hand went to his belt, unbuckling it._

_"Gilbert, no!" Kim pleaded, "PLEASE!"_

_"Kim, what's keeping you? The others are waiting to..." Ninja Man's voice said as he walked in. He froze as he saw the situation. His eyes went cold as he grabbed The German by the lapel of his jacket, "You vicious little bastard!"_

_"Hey, vait, dude." Gilbert said, "She VANTED me to..."_

_POW!_

_Ninja Man punched Gilbert right on the nose, breaking it with an audible CRACK. Ninja Man then kneed him in the gut before holding him up again._

_"I'm going to break your neck!" he snarled._

_"Oh, I see." Gilbert growled, spitting out blood, "You're into zis kinda sing. It gets ya hot..."_

_Ninja Man glowered at him before releasing The German and saying, "Get out."_

_"Oh, sure, I'm goin'." Gilbert replied, fixing his belt and wiping the blood away. A sadistic smirk stretched across his face, "But I have your number, pretty boy! One of zes days, ze shoe shall be on ze oser foot!"_

_"Get OUT." Ninja Man ordered again. The German did so._

_Kim was still hurting from the punch The German gave her and as she held her chest, she was wiping blood away with her arm. She looked up at Ninja Man and he looked back._

_"Get up, and for God's sake, cover yourself." He said sternly._

Back in the present day, Kim looked at the picture of her and the Minutemen with a sad look. True, The German tried to rape her and almost nobody liked him, but he was still a human being, and nobody deserved to die like that.

Kairi meanwhile finished looking at the comic and she was still disgusted.

"Mother, doesn't this image bother you?" She asked. Kim sighed.

"Bother me? What about you? At least I'm not the one dating a walking bomb." Kim said. Kairi was even more angry, hearing someone insult Jaden like that.

"Jaden is not a bomb mother! You're being unfair." Kairi said angrily.

"Times are tough Kairi, whenever the time calls for it, it rains on the just and the unjust alike... except in California." Kim said, getting up and looking out a window.

At the funeral, the priest was still giving a speech. Light Yagami was standing, looking thoughtful.

_1970's..._

_Light was standing in his Kira costume among Kairi who was wearing white armor, a white mask, and a violet cape, Sora in his Keymaster costume, and Shukaku._

_"Welcome." Said a man with spiky, black hair and clad in a white jumpsuit with golden chest armor, "I thank you all for coming, but we're waiting for one more."_

_Sora looked at Kairi and the two smiled. Suddenly, there was a flash of bright light. Jaden, who was clad in a black leotard, appeared with a woman with long, blonde hair and golden eyes._

_"See, Lexi?" Jaden asked in an oddly cheery voice, "I told ya you wouldn't be the only one dressed up."_

_The woman, Alexis Rhodes, smiled at that. Kairi's attention then shifted from Sora to Jaden. Sora looked a bit put-down by that._

_"Welcome, Professor. We may start now." The man said, "Firstly, let me say that I'm glad so many of you showed up. Secondly, for those of you who know me as White Ranger, the name's Thomas Oliver. Call me Tommy. Third, I guess it should be time to welcome everyone to the first meeting of the Crimebusters."_

_Tommy's speech was interrupted by a rather loud belch from The German, who was sitting in the corner, reading a newspaper._

_Tommy decided to ignore that rather rude interruption and continued, "Why now? Well, as you know, the country hasn't had an organized crime-fighting group since the Minutemen disbanded in 1949. Specialized law enforcement is standing still. Crime isn't. New social evils emerge daily. But standing together as the Crime-Busters..."_

_"Stiermist." The German stated._

_"Excuse me?" Tommy asked._

_"Ya heard me, Herr Oliver. Stiermist. Bull crap." The German said, not taking his eyes off of the paper, which had the headline of 'Soviets call Professor Neos an "Imperialist Weapon"', "Zis Crimebusters idea stinks like three-year-old wurst. Vat zis is, Tommy, is you getting old and vanting to play cowboys und Indians again."_

_"That's not true." Tommy said, looking defensive._

_Sora decided to intervene and hopefully calm things down._

_"Now, let's not judge things too quickly. Me and Shukaku have been doing good cleaning up the lower East side." He said as Shukaku spoke up._

_"A group this big, it all seems like more of a publicity stunt than anything else. It's too big for my taste." Shukaku said as Alexis started to get mad at Jaden over something, "I'm not in it for the ink."_

_"That's a small problem we could work around, Shukaku. Putting the right person in charge, we could..." Light said before The German cut in._

_"Oh, I vonder who zat would be. Got any ideas in zat head of yours Kira, you're ze smartest man in ze vorld right?" The German rudely asked._

_"It doesn't take a genius to see that this country has problems." Kira calmly said_

_"Ja, but it takes a room filled with idiots to zhink zat zey're small enough for you to take." The German replied, "You people really have no idea vat's going on on ze vorld."_

_"I think I'm as well-informed as anyone." Kira stated, "Given correct handling, none of the world's problems are impossible to overcome. All it takes is a little intelligence."_

_"Vich you have PLENTY of." The German said, snidely, before saying to the group, "You people are all JOKES. You hear Robotnik's back and you all think 'Oh nein, lässt Bande auf ihn!'. You sink it matters? You sink sat it vill SOLVE anysing? You sink it MATTERS?"_

_"Justice matters." Shukaku stated, advancing on The German, but was stopped by Sora._

_"Justice?" The German asked, smirking, "Justice is comin' for all of us, no matter vhat you sink you know."_

_The German pulled out a cigarette lighter and walking over to a map of the United States._

_"What are you doing?" Tommy asked._

_"It von't matter at all vonce zhose nuclear varheads start firing." The German said, lighting the map on fire, "Ve're all gonna be ashes..."_

_"My display!" Tommy shouted._

_"And zhen Kira shall be ze smartest man on ze cinder. Now, I have ozer zhings to do than sit around, disillusioning you. See you in ze funny papers." The German said, walking out while saying, "I am awesome."_

_"Jaden, I think I'd like to go home now, please." Alexis said._

_"Uh...listen, Tommy, this isn't working out." Sora said, walking out with Shukaku and Kairi._

_"Don't leave." Tommy said, "Someone has to save the world!"_

Present day...

The priest was still delivering the prayer and they were just about ready to bury Gilbert. It was then that Jaden started to have a flashback himself. He remembered when he and Gilbert were on the front lines in Vietnam.

_Vietnam War..._

_The enemy soldiers were firing rapidly at American soldiers with AK-47's but they stopped firing when they saw something that made their jaws drop. It was Jaden, about 40 stories high, wearing a black speedo._

_He had helicopters following him and left and right, Jaden was disintegrating enemy soldiers, turning them into piles of bones and guts._

_Gilbert laughed out-loud as he opened-fired on the Viet Cong agents with an HK-G36._

_Later, the liberated people of South Vietnam were cheering, waving their country's flag, and carrying banners of Richard Nixon._

_"Ech, more fireworks." Gilbert said, disdainfully, "Just ven you wink zis country's had enough of sem, zey find some stupid occasion to break out MORE. I'm just looking forward to going back to ze Vater country..." he downed some bourbon before looking at Jaden and saying, "Y'know, if ve lost here in 'Nam, it probably vould have driven you Americans insane. Y'know, as a country. But ve didn't zhanks to awesome me und you."_

_"You sound bitter." Jaden stated._

_"ME? Bitter?" Gilbert asked, downing another shot before giving Jaden a smirk, "Heck, no. I zhink it's awesome!"_

_Jaden stood in the doorway as a Vietnamese woman walked in. Judging from her swollen belly, she was well into pregnancy._

_"Mr. Gilbert." She said._

_"Mein Gott, just vat I needed..." Gilbert muttered, his smirk vanishing as he got another shot._

_"The war is over now." The woman said, "We must TALK about this baby..."_

_"Zhere's nosing to talk about." Gilbert said, turning a sadistic smirk to the woman, "You see, I'm leaving tomorrow und I shall forget all about you and zis crap-hole you call a country. Now, get out."_

_"No." The woman said._

_"GET OUT." Gilbert ordered._

_"You will remember..." the woman said. Gilbert scoffed and turned to get another drink. The woman grabbed a bottle, breaking in on the edge of a table, "You will remember ME and MY COUNTRY..." Gilbert turned around just in time to see the bottle slashing through the air, leaving deep scars in his face, "FOREVER!"_

_"MY FACE!" Gilbert roared, touching his bleeding face. He pulled out a Luger and pointed it directly at the woman's chest._

_"Gilbert, no." Jaden said. The woman began speaking in Vietnamese in a terrified voice, "GIL-"_

_BANG!_

_The woman fell down with a bullet in her chest and Jaden was shocked at what just happened._

_"Gilbert, she was pregnant. And you killed her." Jaden said and suffice to say, Gilbert didn't care really that he just killed a pregnant woman._

_"Ja, ja I know, pregnant voman, shot dead. And you know vat? You vatched me do it, you could've turned ze gun into vater, the bullets into styrofoam, or ze bottle into a pile of ash! You couldve zapped eizer von of us all ze vay to Istanbul but you didn't lift a finger!" Gilbert said angrily while Jaden stood there and took it, "You don't care von bit about human beings, you're really drifting out of touch doctor. Gott helfen uns alle."_

_"MEDIC!" He yelled as he stumbled out of the bar, leaving Jaden and the dead woman behind._

The present...

Sora was looking thoughtful as well...

_1977..._

_The riots over the police strike were rampaging in a way that made an elephant stampede look civilized by comparison. Sora flew in on his Gummi Ship with The German carrying guns._

_"Please!" Sora called through the loudspeaker, "If everybody could just clear the streets..."_

_"Listen, ya little craps, you better get back into your crap-holes!" The German called, "I have ze might of riot gas und rubber bullets!" One of the rioters responded by throwing an empty can at The German's face._

_"Please, there is no need for violence!" Sora said, pleading for some form of sanity, "The strike is being negotiated right now..."_

_"Alright, if ZAT'S how you vant to do it..." The German growled, pulling out a tear gas bomb and tossing it into the crowd, "HOT POTATO!" he grabbed a machine gun before jumping out and opening-fire, causing the crowd to begin running for cover._

_"German, this is a nightmare!" Sora said as he stepped out, putting on a gas mask and tossing one to The German as well, "The whole city is erupting into this madness!"_

_"Ja, zat's right, run ya little craps!" German laughed, "Run from me und my awesomeness!"_

_"German?" Sora asked, "I said..."_

_"I heard vat you said." The German said, "My government cronies tell me zat your Congress is pushing for a new Act zat's going to outlaw costumed heroes. Until zen, ve're society's only protection. Ve keep it up as long as ve have to!"_

_"Protection?" Sora asked as they walked through the streets, "WHO are we protecting them from?"_

_"Isn't it obvious? From zemselves. Vat's ze matter, don't feel comfortable beating on angry protestors? You only like going up against freaks in Halloveen costumes? Speaking of vich, veres Shukaku und ze osers?" The German asked as he and Key Master walked around the area._

_"Well Jaden and Kairi are dealing with the riots in D.C. and Shukaku is across town taking care of the lower East side. He really likes to work on his own these days." Keymaster told The German._

_"Shukaku's got a ton of screws loose. He's been like zat ever since zat kidnapping case. Even zat red pretty boy, Jaden valking A-bomb Yuki. He's just as nuts as Shukaku." The German said._

_"And you're not crazy at all?" Keymaster asked as The German reloaded his gun with rubber bullets._

_"Me crazy? Not in ze slightest, I like to keep sings under control und see ze funny side of everyzhing." The German said as he spotted a protester spraying grafitti on a wall._

_"Drop zat can you little schwein!" The German yelled before shooting the protestor with a rubber bullet. Two more protestors ran in and helped their friend up. Keymaster and The German saw what the grafitti read..._

**WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?**

_"Ha, ya see zis?" The German asked, pointing at the grafitti, "Zose people have been putting zat crap up all over ze place for ze last two veeks. Zey don't like or trust us."_

_"This situation...it's horrible..." Sora said, looking terrified._

_"Vell, ME, I like it ven sings get veird very much." The German smirked, "I love it vhen ze cards are ALL on ze table."_

_"But this country's disintegrating!" Sora answered, "What's happening to America? What happened to the American dream?"_

_"It came TRUE, zat's what." The German answered, "Now, come on, let us REALLY put zese jokers srough some changes!"_

_The German took off running, leaving Sora behind, looking mortified._

Present day...

Sora held the Iron Cross up before looking at the grave. He casually flicked it into the grave. It would be better for The German to keep his cross...

Jaden shook hands with Light as the two walked over to Sora to console each other.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil..." the teen carrying the sign said, noticing a round man with a large, bushy mustache walking away, "Amen."

Later, in the city, the man walked into an apartment. His head was completely bald, his eyes were covered by goggles, and his mustache was a clear shade of gray. He poured himself some water before walking over and opening the refrigerator.

Immediately, Shukaku sprung from it, tackling the man and keeping a knee on his back.

"Oh Lord, PLEASE!" the man pleaded, "PLEASE! This must be a mistake! You have the wrong man!"

"No." Shukaku stated, "Ivo Eggman, also known as Dr. Robotnik."

"What? No, this is a misunderstanding! I'm just a retired businessman!" Dr. Eggman said before Shukaku twisted his arm.

"You're lying. Do it again and I'll break your arm." Shukaku stated.

"P-please don't do this, I spent the 70's locked up in jail! I'm not Dr. Robotnik anymore, I just want to be left alone! What do you want from me?!" Dr. Robotnik asked.

"I heard you attended the funeral today." Shukaku stated, "Why?"

"The funeral?" Eggman asked as Shukaku got off of his back and grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt, "I...I don't know WHY I went! I just felt like I should. I'd been thinking about The German since he visited me and..." Shukaku slammed him against the wall, "OW! What did I say?!"

"How?" Shukaku asked, "How do you know Gilbert Bielschmidt was The German?"

"Wh...when he broke in to see me!" Eggman replied, looking terrified, "He was drunk! He had his mask off! The guy was scared of something, crying..."

"You two were enemies for forty years." Shukaku said, suspiciously, "Why should he visit YOU?"

"I don't know. I woke up and he was there, in my room, babbling nonsense." Eggman said, still looking terrified, "I sat in bed, scared stiff. He sounded INSANE. I thought he was going to KILL me! This was a week before I heard he'd died. I guess it was his last major appearance..."

_A week ago, Gilbert sat on the bed of Dr. Robotnik, a sign outside the window turned on every few seconds and filled the room with neon orange light. THe doctor just laid there with a scared look while his old enemy babbled away._

_"It's a joke, every single part of it, a joke." Gilbert sobbed as he held his face in his hands._

_"I sought I knew how za vorld vorked, ze ins und outs. But zen I found out about zis joke." He weeped and turned to Robotnik._

_"Und you, you're part of it Robotnik, you know zat? I saw your name on zat list, you and Alexis Rhodes, Neos' old girl. But if I sought you vere in on zis, I'd keel you Robotnik, keel you." Gilbert said with a murderous look._

_"You fought zat big red freak, you know vat his head is like. Who knows vat he'd do if someone messed vit it." Gilbert said, getting up and looking out the window._

_"He might...he just might...I don't vant to sink about it." He said, Do ya have any beer?"_

_Gilbert walked over to the drawer and opened it, getting a bottle, "I mean...vhat gets ME, right? Vhat gets ME, I didn't HAVE to look out of ze airship vindow at zat moment, never seen ze island...HAH! GOT IT!" Gilbert quickly chugged some of the alcohol down._

_"It stinks...it stinks...it's not awesome..." Gilbert said to himself, "I mean...zis is a JOKE, I sought I knew all of zem, you know? Mein Gott, I can't believe it! I can't believe ANYBODY would do that...I can't...I can't believe..."_

_Gilbert seemed to be breaking down at that point and took some shaky breaths before continuing, "Shiezzre, LOOK at me, crying! You don't know...you don't know vhat's happening...on zat island, zey have writers, artists, and vhat zey're doing..."_

_Gilbert stood up, "I mean, I did some bad sings. I did bad sings to women. I shot KIDS. In Vietnam, I shot kids...but I never did anysing like...like..."_

_Gilbert slumped over the drawers before breaking down, "Oh, mutter...forgive me...I mean, vhat's so funny? Vhat's so funny about zis? Somebody explain..."_

_He then grabbed Eggman by the shirt and screamed, tears in his eyes and a terrified expression on his face, "SOMEBODY EXPLAIN IT TO ME!"_

Present...

"And then he left." Eggman concluded, "I don't know. I don't know what it was about..."

"Hurm." Shukaku muttered, letting Eggman go. The masked hero turned from the doctor, "I have a hard time believing that story."

"So does this mean I'm off the hook?" Eggman asked. Shukaku looked back at him and reached into one of his pockets. He pulled an orange medication bottle out and inside were small green pills.

"You, off the hook? I searched your apartment and found this. Maradox, phony medication made from artichoke hearts, this stuff got banned three years ago." Shukaku said.

"Please don't take that, it's keeping me alive. I have cancer." Eggman said.

"What kind of cancer?" Shukaku asked.

"You know that kind of cancer that you get better from? That's not the kind I have." Eggman said. Shukaku stared at him before putting the pill bottle down on the counter.

"Very well, I wrote down the name of the company, I'll report them later. You're free, for now. Keep your hands clean." Shukaku said before leaving Eggman's apartment.

Shukaku walked through the raining streets of downtown New York. A scantily-clad woman tried talking to him, but he simply walked by without a second look.

_"The Shukaku Journal,_  
_October 16th, 1985..._  
_42nd Street: Women's breasts draped across every billboard, every display, littering the sidewalk. I was offered Swedish love and French love...but not American love. American love; like Coke in green glass bottles...they don't make it anymore."_

Shukaku went to the graveyard and picked the lock, entering.

_"Thought about Robotnik's story while on my way to the cemetery. Could all be lies. Could all be part of a revenge scheme, planned during his decade behind bars. But if that's true, then what? A puzzling reference to an island. Also to Professor Neos. Could he be at risk in some way? So many questions...never mind. The answers will come soon. No crime is unsolvable. Nothing is hopeless, not while there's still life..."_

Shukaku entered the cemetery and arrived at the grave of Gilbert Bielschmidt.

_"In the cemetery, all the white crosses stood in rows, neat chalk marks on a giant scorecard. Paid last respects quietly, without fuss. Gilbert Bielschmidt. Birth date unknown,. Over forty-five years as an adventurer, died 1985 in the rain. Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends...so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses. Violent lives, ending violently. Kaptain Krust, Shinigami, White Ranger...we never die in bed. We're not allowed."_

Shukaku pulled out a rose before putting it on the lapel of his hoodie.

_"Something in our personalities, perhaps? Some animal lure to fight and struggle, making us who we are? Unimportant. We do what we have to do. Others bury their heads between the breasts of indulgence and gratification, piglets squirming beneath a sow for shelter...but there is no shelter...and the future is bearing down like an express train. Bielschmidt understood. He treated it like a joke, but he understood. He saw the cracks in society, saw the little men in masks trying to hold it together. He saw the true face of the twentieth century and chose to become a reflection, a parody of it. No one else saw the joke. That's probably why he was lonely."_

Shukaku stood up and walked out of the graveyard.

_"Heard joke once: man goes to doctor, saying he's depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel and that he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says "The treatment is simple. The famous clown, Krusty is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." The man bursts into tears and says, "But doctor...I AM Krusty!". Good joke. Everybody laughs. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."_

_"America took me into her bosom when there was no longer a country worthy of the name, but in my heart I am German - German in my soul"_

_-Marlene Dietrich_


	3. Judge of all the Earth

**(The following is a non-profit, fan-based work. _Watchmen_ is owned by Alan Moore and DC Comics. Please support the official release.)**

"We had better nuke those lousy Russians, just like Mr. Patton wanted." Someone with a Scottish accent muttered, "I mean, I see the SIGNS. I read the headlines, look things in the face, y'know. I sell Newspapers. I'm informed on most of the situations. We should have gone to war right after dropping that bomb on Japan."

The person speaking was a duck with glasses, a top hat, and a blue vest. He was Scoorge McDuck. He was talking to himself as a boy with thick glasses and blue hair sat next to him, reading a comic book.

"Of course, that's just my opinion." Scrooge murmured, "For what it's worth, y'know. In a final analysis. Listen, I see every bit of information, nothin' gets past ME. For instance, the more disasters happen, the more papers I sell. See, everythin's connected. A news vendor UNDERSTANDS that. He doesn't retreat. He doesn't retreat from REALITY. The weight of the world's on him, but does he quit? NAY. He's like Atlas. He can take it! He's a survivor!" Scrooge looked up as the red-haired teen approached, still holding his sign, "Oh, good afternoon, lad."

"Good afternoon." The teen replied, "Is it here?"

"Aye, it is." Scoorge answered, grabbing a newspaper and handing it to the teen, "Your daily copy of the New Frontiersman, right here." He noticed the teenager's sign, "So, how's the end of the world comin' along?"

"It'll happen today. I've seen the signs." The teenager replied, "Today for certain. But will you keep my paper for tomorrow anyway?"

"Uh...sure. I will. No problem." Scrooge replied, looking uncertain, "Have a nice day."

He turned over to get some coffee. However, the teenager walked up behind him, tapping his shoulder, causing the duck to jump, "You won't forget?"

"No I won't! Now please, go away." Scrooge said.

Meanwhile at the Rockefeller base, Kairi was lying down on a bed, her eyes were shut and a small smile was on her face.

Jaden slowly rubbed her cheeks as the song "You're my thrill" by Billie Holiday played on a radio.

"J-Jaden, when do you have to do that TV interview?" Kairi quietly asked.

"Not for a while, we have plenty of time." Jaden said as Kairi licked one of his fingers.

"That's perfect. Mmm..." She moaned in ecstasy.

She opened her eyes to look into her lover's eyes and instead she saw two Jadens! She screamed as she sat up and covered her breasts.

"Jaden! That's terrible, be one person again!" She demanded as she got off of the bed and put a robe on.

"Kairi? Don't be upset." Jaden said, "I thought you would ENJOY it. I do try to please you..."

Kairi pulled a robe on as she walked over to a bathroom, "I...I know. I'm sorry. I overreacted. You just startled me, that's all. Look, I need some air..."

"I apologize." Jaden said, "I don't know what stimulates you anymore."

"Jaden, please. It's okay." Kairi said, "I'm fine. It doesn't really..." she then turned around and saw a third Jaden, working with chemicals, "Matter."

"Well, if you're sure." Jaden said, "Perhaps I'll get ready for the interview." He then saw Kairi, staring at the third Jaden, "Kairi? Kairi, are you okay?"

"Am I OKAY?" Kairi asked, looking enraged, "How long have you been working here?!"

"Kairi, try to understand..."

"Understand NOTHING." Kairi interrupted, "Were you working here at the same time as we were in bed?!"

"Kairi, my work's at an important stage." Jaden explained, "It seemed unnecessary to..."

"SHUT UP!" Kairi shouted, throwing a cup of chemicals at Jaden. It phased through his body and crashed into a table, "I HATE YOU!" Kairi wheeled away and began walking away, "How COULD you?! I'm LEAVING! I'm getting dressed and leaving!"

"Kairi, can't we talk?" Jaden asked, "If you think there's a problem with my attitude, I'm prepared to discuss it." However, he realized that Kairi wasn't responding as she walked away, "Kairi?"

Kairi got dressed, put on a coat and left the base.

Meanwhile at an essex building, a girl with fading blonde hair was being interviewed by a news man.

"He said that he always wanted me, and I was stupid enough to believe him. Within three years, he dumped me for some red head who ran around in armor! I bet that one day, he'll find out what it's like to have a loved one leave you." The girl said angrily.

"I see, so Ms. Rhodes how do you feel now that you know about your... you know condition?" The news man asked as Kairi hailed a taxi.

"Bitter." The girl said. She stuck a cigarette into her mouth and took a deep breath with it, "Bitter as you can expect. I started smoking three packs a day! I figure 'why NOT?', I mean, I don't have any illusions. I mean, nobody's going to MISS me after I'm gone, I know THAT. Especially not HIM."

The woman, an elderly Alexis Rhodes, breathed out some smoke before continuing, "You see, he doesn't CARE. He doesn't have to get OLD that's..." Alexis coughed before saying, "Sorry. That's why I'm talking to YOU people. I want the world to know about him and what he did to me. I kept quiet all these years, but then this latest thing happened and I hate to let it all...let it all..." Alexis burst into another fit of coughing, "After all he meant to me...after all the times he said he loved me..." she coughed more.

"It's okay, Miss Rhodes." The reporter said, "If you want, we can stop here."

Alexis' response was to continue coughing.

"Um, Miss Rhodes, I'd like to thank you for helping the Daily Bugle so much with these investigations." The reporter said, "I'm sure after the paper finally goes out tonight, you'll feel much better..."

"No, I won't feel better at all. Not after what he did to me. Some things, once their broken can never be fixed." Alexis said, as the news man shut a tape recorder off, "But I'll be glad that when your show airs tonight, the whole world will know what he did! Oh god, it's such a huge relief to talk to someone about all this."

Kairi entered Sora's apartment, where a repairman was working on a new lock.

"Kairi? Uh, well, come on in." Sora said, walking out of the kitchen, obviously in the middle of washing the dishes, "It's good to see you. Sorry about the mess...I'm kinda having a new lock fitted."

"S'okay, friend. Almost through here." The repairman said.

"Thanks." Sora said, letting Kairi into the kitchen, "I'll just make some coffee. It's funny, I was hoping I'd run into you so I could thank you for that dinner last week. I thought you'd be at the funeral, but Jaden said you had to visit your mother." Sora pulled a chair out, "Here, take a chair. By the way, do you take sugar with your coffee?"

"Uh...yes, two lumps." Kairi replied.

"No problem." Sora said, reaching for the sugar, "So, how's your mom? Alan Scott was asking about her just last week..."

"Oh, she's just fine." Kairi replied.

A single sugar cube fell out of the can, making Sora look somewhat irritated. Shukaku had obviously taken more sugar than he originally thought.

"Crud, I thought I had more sugar than that." He looked over at Kairi and asked, "Is one lump okay or should I go out and get more?"

"No. One lump's just fi..." Kairi suddenly burst into tears.

"Kairi, are you okay? Whatever's bothering you, it's not the end of the world right?" Sora asked as Kairi wiped her eyes with a napkin.

"I left Jaden." Kairi said.

"Oh, I see. That's terrible Kairi!" Sora said, trying to comfort Kairi. She blew her nose and threw the napkin away.

"I don't know WHY I'm dumping it all on you." Kairi wept, "I just...I just don't nuh-know anyone else other than SUPERHEROES."

"Well, look." Sora said, trying to comfort Kairi, "I don't know...maybe you're making too much out of an argument or something..."

"You think this is our FIRST argument?" Kairi asked, "Sora, living with him, you don't know what it's like. The way he looks at things, like he can't remember what they are and doesn't care...this world, the real world, to him it's like walking through mist, and all the people are like shadows..."

Sora's teapot came to a full, whistling boil.

"Just shadows in the fog."

Back at the base, Jaden sat on the bed and held up one of Kairi's black lace bras. He looked at it, sighed and made some clothes float out of the closet.

Back at Sora's, Kairi was venting with Sora by her side.

"Tonight, I walked out after who knows how long, and you know what I think he's doing about it? He's either getting ready for his interview or watching cell's merge under a microscope, maybe both." she said. Sora stood up and poured some hot water into a cup.

"So, do you have a place to stay tonight?" Sora asked.

"Well I've got some money so I may just stay at a hotel and think things through." Kairi said. She wept again before saying, "Sora, I'm sorry. I turned up in hysterics when you were probably about to dress for going out."

"It's okay, I just wish you'd drop in more often. As for tonight, I'm only going to Alan's place." Sora replied, "And he doesn't care how people dress."

Jaden stood up as the clothes began to put themselves onto the proper places on his body. Eventually, he was in a tuxedo.

"Here, drink while it's hot." Sora said, handing the mug to Kairi, "Here's looking up to you."

Kairi looked down into the coffee cup at her reflection.

"You know, I look at myself and think how did this all get tangled up?" Kairi asked. She then stood up and looked at Sora, "Come on, Alan's probably wondering where you are. I'll walk over there with you."

"Don't you want your coffee?" Sora asked.

"No, I'm sorry. It's too bitter." she said. Sora nodded, stood up and grabbed his coat just as the repairman was fixing the door.

"If that's what you want. You sure you don't want to sit and talk? Alan would understand if I was late." Sora said, putting his coat on.

"Sora, it's fine. Let's go, it's already six fifteen, you know how the streets are on a Saturday night." Kairi said.

"Yeah, sometimes the cabs just disappear and it takes forever to get from point A to point B." Sora said as he and Kairi walked out.

In the base, Jaden vanished in a small flash. Meanwhile, in a news station, he reappeared in another flash.

"Oh, Dr. Yuki finally arrives and nobody thinks to TELL me." a portly man with glasses, a tuxedo, a tie, glasses, and a small beard said. This was the head of the station, whom everyone simply called Nostalgia Critic.

"Hey, don't blame US." replied a man named Linkara, "He just popped out of nowhere! Ugh...you're not paying me enough for this...I already get paid minimally for reading comics about monsters from SPACE."

"Okay, come on people! We got a show to run! Dr. Yuki, I'm sorry but that red is way too bright for television. We're interviewing you, not blinding our viewers." Nostalgia Critic said as a man in a blue suit walked next to Jaden.

"Dr. Yuki, I'm Stan Smith, C.I.A. here's a list of classified topics. Afghanistan may pop up but remain calm, don't get yourself stuck in a corner." Stan said.

Meanwhile across town, Sora and Kairi decided to take a shortcut through an ally, only to be noticed by members of a really vicious street gang.

"By the way, speaking as a media genius, I think that your shade of red's a little too bright for the cameras." Nostalgia Critic said.

Suddenly, Jaden's red skin became a slightly darker tone, "Is this good enough?"

"Hmm...yep, that oughta do it." NC replied as they walked into a studio.

Across town, the gang snickered and followed Sora and Kairi into the alley. They were young men wearing striped shirts and overalls. They were known as The Punks.

Back at the TV station, the show was about to start.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen of America, we have a special guest for you tonight. Making his first TV appearance, Professor Neos himself, Jaden Yuki!" the host said as Jaden walked out. The audience clapped as Jaden sat down.

"Hope ya don't mind me asking this, but what's up, doc?" the host asked. The audience laughed at that.

"Up is a relative concept." Jaden replied, "It has no INTRINSIC value."

"Uh...right." The host said, looking uncomfortable, "Okay, so let's get onto the questions...you, over there?"

"Professor, if the Communists act up in Afghanistan, will you be prepared to enter hostilities?" a woman asked.

"As far as I am aware, there is no situation in Afghanistan currently requiring my attentions." Jaden replied.

"Okay, fine. How about you over there." The host said, pointing into the audience, "Yes, you, sir. Please stand and let's try to keep it snappy."

Across town, Sora and Kairi looked at each other before lunging at The Punks, taking them by surprise.

Sora grabbed the arm of a Punk and punched his elbow with his fist, breaking it and making the bone stick out! The Punk screamed in pain and Kairi kicked him in the knee, making his knee bend backwards!

"Jaden, my name's J. Jonah Jameson, head publisher of the Daily Bugle. I'd like to ask if you remember Syrus Truesdale, back in the sixties?" A man with a flat top haircut said, holding a tape recorder, "He died of cancer back in 1971. I heard it was really quick and really painful."

Sora nailed a Punk right in the nose, making blood shoot out.

"I remember Syrus as a good friend." Jaden replied, "I attended his funeral."

"How about Ivo Eggman, also known as Dr. Robotnik?" Mr. Jameson asked, "Ya encountered him a LOT during the sixties in battles, conflicts, or whatever it is you super-people do. Did ya know that Robotnik's ALSO got terminal cancer?"

"Robotnik?" Jaden asked, "No...no, I didn't know that. I'd rather not..."

"What's the matter, Prof?" Mr. Jameson asked, "Ya don't like the questioning? Makin' ya feel uncomfortable? How about THIS one: did ya know that Ms. Alexis Rhodes, who was your girlfriend in the sixties, is currently suffering from lung cancer? The docs have given her six months to live. Notice any connections, like how Parker's pictures of Spider-Man are pretty dang good? The evidence is pretty conclusive!"

"Alexis?" Jaden asked, looking extremely distressed, "But...I wasn't told...are...are you suggesting...?"

"Okay, that's it!" called the security man, "No more questions! The professor's tired. Sorry about this, folks, but the show's over."

Back in the alley, Sora and Kairi looked around at the beaten and bruised Punks. The two were panting heavily and were sweating a ton. Back at the TV station, the reporters and audience swarmed around Jaden.

"Also, we have two more reports of people with the same condition!" Jameson said as Jaden tried to break through.

"Do you think you gave Ms. Rhodes cancer by having intercourse with her?" Another reporter asked Jaden.

"Let him through, he's not here to answer questions on private moments!" The security man said. Jaden tried to leave but the mob blocked his way.

"How does it feel to know that you may have doomed hundreds of people?" Jameson asked.

"Please, if everyone will just go away and leave me alone..." Jaden pleaded, but they wouldn't let up.

"Professor Neos, how often did..." A reporter asked when suddenly, Jaden had enough!

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled.

In a flash of red light, the entire studio was empty, leaving Jaden looking around before teleporting away.

Back in the alleyway, Sora and Kairi were regaining themselves.

"I'm wiped out..." Kairi panted, "I mean...we just got mugged. Look...I'm shaking from the adrenaline. When it wears off, I always feel sort of weird..."

"Are you SURE ya don't wanna visit Alan and get your breath back?" Sora asked.

"No, I've had enough superhero stuff for one day." Kairi replied, "I'm gonna get a hotel and think over my relationship..."

"Oh, okay. Take care." Sora said as Kairi left. Rain started to fall again as Sora walked over to Alan's workshop.

"Sora, there you are! I was worried that you had an accident." Alan said as Sora entered.

"No I'm fine, just ran into some trouble on my way over." Sora said. Alan then got a worried look.

"Hey listen, Professor Neos really caused a scene today! He zapped everyone out of the TV building, camera's and all!" Alan said as his TV played Jaden's interview.

"But, I was just with Kairi. She doesn't know." Sora said.

"I bet she'll know quickly. This show just went prime time. The whole world will know soon enough." Alan said.

"Ha! I knew it!" Scrooge McDuck said, pulling out a stack of papers with the title of _Professor Neos: cancer link with new evidence_, "Cancer! I might have known! They should have deported that radioactive freak!" he opened the magazine and said, "HA! His ex said they couldn't relate SEXUALLY. That has to mean somethin'! Me wife said she'd fantasize about that creep, though I think it had more to do with the casual nudity."

"Excuse me, sir," the boy said, "It's raining and you're a duck, could I have that hat?"

"Bah, no way, you brat." Scrooge answered, harshly, "I don't lend things. It's me philosophy-in THIS world, ya shouldn't count on ANYBODY. In the end, everyone stands ALONE."

Meanwhile, in the base, a worker was whistling something to himself as he finished painting a notice on a door that had a hazard symbol over the words 'DANGER! Quarantine Area'. In a flash of red light, Jaden reappeared.

"What are you doing?" Jaden asked, causing the worker to jump.

"I-I was just painting up this notice, I have orders..." the worker stammered, worried that Jaden was about to kill him.

"It appears that I have issues emotionally and physically. Do me a favor, tell Kairi and your superiors that I'm leaving." Jaden said.

"Leaving? But to where?" The worker asked.

"I'll stop by Arizona first and then go to Mars." Jaden said. He vanished in a flash of red light, leaving his clothes behind.

"Oh my God! Sergeant! Sergeant, we have an emergency!" The worker yelled.

Jaden appeared in an empty desert. He walked into a run-down bar and picked up a picture of a younger Alexis and a teenager that looked a lot like him. He looked, solemnly, at it before walking out. He stared up at the stars before teleporting away, leaving no trace that he had ever been there.

The next morning, Scrooge was reading his newspapers, the boy reading a newspaper next to him.

"Ya see this? He's GONE! The Daily Bugle says that it's because o' the Russians." Scrooge said, "I mean, what's next? Aliens?"

"Give me a copy of the Bugle." Said the red-haired teenager as he walked over.

"Oh, sure. There ya go." Scrooge said, handing the boy a copy of the Bugle, "I thought it might've been a scheme by the Communists for a while now. I'm a news vendor, after all. How about you? I see the world didn't end yesterday."

"Are you sure?" The teenager asked, putting the newspaper under his arm as he pulled out some money, which he handed to Scrooge. He walked away, leaving the duck and boy.

"Hey, are ya back AGAIN?" Scrooge asked the boy, looking irritated, "Listen, are ya thinkin' o' PAYIN' for that comic or should I cane ya?"

The boy didn't listen and kept his eyes glued to the comic.

Back at the military base, Kairi had just received the news that Jaden left.

"What? W-what do you mean he's gone?" She asked in shock. Jaden's bodyguard was there at the base explaining everything.

"Didn't you read the Bugle? Reports say Neos practically said 'Screw you guys' and left the planet! Now Kairi, we have to give you a scan to see if you have any tumors." he said. Kairi scoffed and entered her bedroom. When she did, she saw guys dressed in hazmat suits picking things up and waving a radiation scanner around.

"What are all these people doing here? Hey put that painting back! It's my mother's!" Kairi said but the hazmat team didn't listen.

"Kairi did you put Neos under any emotional stress last night?" The security man asked. Kairi got an offended look and turned to him.

"Are you blaming me for something? Just who do you think you are? When Jaden comes back, you're all gonna be in big trouble!" she said angrily.

"He's not COMING back." The security man replied, "In fact, our psychologists say he's NEVER coming back! Your meal ticket's just flown the coop! The linchpin of America's strategic superiority has apparently gone to MARS! But you're right, I AM in big trouble and YOU'RE in big trouble and the ENTIRE PLANET'S in big trouble!"

The next morning, Sora was sleeping, peacefully, in bed...until someone harshly dropped a newspaper onto his stomach.

"LOOK OUT, HEARTLESS ARE DEADLY!" Sora yelled, jumping up and seeing Shukaku.

"Good morning, Sora." Shukaku replied, "Brought you your Sunday paper." Shukaku slid his mask up to allow his mouth enough room to eat some sugar cubes, "The German murdered, Professor Neos exiled...two of us gone within a week. Who next? Yagami? Kairi? Me? You?" Shukaku slid his mask back down and said, "By the way, you need a stronger lock. The new one broke after one shove."

"My new lock?" Sora asked, looking terrified.

"Poor choice. Get a more expensive one. You can't be too security conscious in these days. Nobody's safe now." Shukaku said, walking out, "By the way, thanks for the coffee and cereal."

Meanwhile, Scrooge and the boy were still at the newsstand.

"Y'know, the superhero days are finished. These days, it's all pirates." Scrooge murmured, "Back in the thirties, costumed heroes were all the rage...then the REAL masked heroes came about. I remember there was Superman, the Flash...oh, look. The evenin' delivery." Scrooge took a stack of papers.

"Hey, I'm not buying this." The boy said, "It doesn't have an ending!"

"Gimme a break." Scrooge said, putting the papers down before picking up a paper.

"I just got left hanging with that ship coming to kill everyone!" The boy said, "I'm going home!"

"Let's see what's happenin' in the world this Sunday-" Scrooge froze, a look of terror on his face, "Oh dear lord..."

"Hey, keep this book!" the boy shouted, handing it back.

"What? Nah, ya can have it." Scrooge said, sounding much calmer, albeit a little jittery, "An' ya can have me HAT, too. Just go home to your mother and be good to 'er." Scrooge took off his top hat and handed it to the boy, "After all, we gotta look out for each other, don't we?"

"Uh...sure, thanks." The boy said, putting the hat on as rain began falling, "Listen, I have to go now. Take care, Mister!"

The boy ran away as Scrooge held up the paper, "Yeah, you too. Don't worry about payin' for the book. I mean, life's too short in the long-run, isn't it?"

Scrooge let out a shaky breath as he sat back down, leaving the headline clear to anyone. It read iRussians Invade Afghanistan/i.

Meanwhile, far away in the reaches of space, Jaden had just arrived on Mars. He looked around at the scenery and smiled. No cities, cars, or loud noises. He was finally in a place where he could be left alone.

"Mr. President? The latest analysis is through." Reported a man with glasses, ash blonde hair, blue eyes, and a WWII bomber jacket. This was Alfred Jones, "If the Soviets continue into Pakistan, it's 60% certain that they'll try and take Western Europe."

"Huh." President Nixon said, "If he wanted to live on a RED planet, he should've just stayed home...well, Mr. Jones, what do YOU think?"

"We can be ready for a strike within seven days." Alfred replied. Normally, he was cheery and energetic, but now he was grim and analytical. The situation must be dire, "We have a fifty-four percent chance of wiping them out before half their birds are airborn. I'm talkin' total devastation here."

"And would our losses be acceptable?" Nixon asked.

"Any second now our overview will come on." Alfred said, looking at a huge computer screen. He and the others saw lines and dots that symbolized bombing planes.

"See, there we are." Alfred said, pointing at the screen.

"Uh-oh, there goes Boston..." Nixon said as dots appeared on the screen, "And New York...Baltimore...Washington..."

"That's kinda grim." Alfred murmured.

"I'll say." Nixon nodded, "Do you have a projection of the Fall-Out Drift from that?"

"Right now." Alfred replied, "With anticipated wind patterns, looks like Mexico's gonna catch the worst of it. We could probably salvage a lot from the farm belt..."

"Losing the East Coast..." Nixon murmured to himself, "I'd always kind of hoped that the big decision would rest with somebody else. This is going to take some thinking about." Nixon sighed before standing up, "Its like old naval battles. So much depends upon a work of the wind. The wind's a force of nature. It's totally impartial...totally indifferent." The president looked at his cabinet before saying, "I think we'll give it a week, gentlemen, before bringing out our big guns. After THAT, humanity is in the hands of a higher authority than mine. Let's just hope He's on our side..."

On Mars, Jaden held the torn picture in his red hand, looking up at space instead.

_"Shall not the judge of all the Earth do right?"_

_-GENESIS chapter 18, verse 25_


End file.
